Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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