Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
