OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
