Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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