Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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