Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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