and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
