i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
