Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
