i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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