dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
