im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
