Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
