You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
