Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
