Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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