You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
