Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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