Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
