I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
