theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
