Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
