You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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