everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
