You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
