Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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