i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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