I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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