New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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