Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
