Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
