So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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