Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
