I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
