i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
