the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
