there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
