I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
