I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
