I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You are the jesus of drinking
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
