So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
