belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
