mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
