the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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