I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
