I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
