I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
