he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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