Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
