everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
